With a few simple preventative measures we can avoid many communication snafus that affect our professional relationships.

Even before COVID-19, 70% of the global workforce was working from home at least one day a week. Now, as companies begin enforcing RTO (Return to Office) mandates, virtual communication remains second nature to many of us. Moving forward, more of our interactions will continue to be virtual, making it essential to master virtual communication etiquette and avoid common communication missteps.

Of course, even the most courteous and conscientious among us will slip up from time to time. But with a few simple preventative measures, we can avoid many of the communication snafus that still get in the way of smooth relationships with colleagues and clients.

“We need to learn a new set of rules—like learning to communicate in a new language.  The virtual pushes us to invest in multiple different worlds, often simultaneously. These new worlds come with new, vague codes of conduct and create new needs…The digital world forces us to re-wire our unconscious communication habits for conscious success.”

-Nick Morgan, Public Words

Top virtual communication mistakes

With virtual communication becoming an essential part of our professional lives, it’s easy to overlook some of the subtle mistakes that can disrupt effective interactions. Even though many of us feel comfortable navigating virtual platforms, minor missteps can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, or even damaged relationships with colleagues and clients.

The good news? Most of these pitfalls are easy to avoid with a little awareness and effort. By identifying the most common communication blunders and learning strategies to prevent them, we can ensure our virtual interactions are smooth, productive, and positive.Below, we’ll explore some of the most frequent mistakes people make in virtual communication and share practical tips for how to avoid them.

Communication Mistake: Talking on the phone in public places or while in transit

Have you ever tried to have a phone conversation with someone while they were standing near a passing train, stuck in a noisy airport, or drowned out by a blaring siren? It’s painful on the ears! Or maybe they were on the move, and their connection kept dropping out, leaving you struggling to piece together fragments of the conversation. Frustrating, right?

If you’re in a public place or on the move, try to hold off on making calls until you’ve reached a quiet, stationary spot. The person on the other end will appreciate being able to hear you clearly, and you’ll have an easier time staying focused on the conversation without unnecessary distractions.

Communication Mistake: Multitasking on the phone

Have you ever been on a call and started hearing the unmistakable clicks of a mouse or keyboard on the other end? What message does that send? It could mean they’re not fully engaged in the conversation–or maybe you’ve interrupted their work. Either way, it leaves you wondering! At best, it suggests you’re not a priority in that moment.

And because they’re multitasking, they can’t fully focus on either the conversation or their work. You might hear them ask, “Sorry, what was that again?” Or worse, they sigh or mutter a curse under their breath after making a mistake—frustrated that your call distracted them.

If you’re in the middle of something when a call comes in, it’s best to pause what you’re doing. If that’s not possible, simply ask the caller to give you five minutes—or even half an hour—to wrap things up. That way, when you do reconnect, you’ll be able to give them your full attention. Problem solved!

“[People] may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

– Carl W. Buehner

Communication Mistake: Talking on speakerphone

Using a speakerphone often makes you sound like you’re speaking from inside a tunnel. It can also make the other person feel uneasy, knowing the conversation isn’t as private as it could be.

Also, much like multitasking, using a speakerphone sends the message that you have something else on your plate—or that you’re in the middle of something you don’t want to pause. It can come across as, “I’m busy, and you’re not important enough for me to focus solely on you!”

Unless you’re driving, stick to using your phone in regular mode. If you do need to use the speakerphone, be sure to let the other person know right away. (It took one of my daughters a while to “get” this! Even now, whenever one of us calls, I feel compelled to ask if I’m on speaker—so rude!)

Communication Mistake: Being unaware of team members’ time zones

Back in my college days, I was fundraising for a non-profit organization and needed to confirm the attendees for an event. I knew one particular sponsor was in Greece that week, but without thinking, I called him to confirm his attendance. As soon as I explained why I was calling, he let out a sigh and went silent for a moment. Then, in a brusque tone, he asked me why I was calling at 11:00 p.m. for something so trivial—and hung up.

“The fastest way to alienate [people] is to treat one-time zone as being correct for everyone,” writes Ellie Coverdale for Zangi.com. There’s no such thing as the “correct” time zone. Whether your team is spread across the globe or just across the country, it’s essential to consider time differences before picking up the phone.

“The fastest way to alienate [people] is to treat one-time zone as being correct for everyone.”

–Ellie Coverdale

Two handy websites for checking the time in other locations are TMZNs.com and WorldTimeBuddy. I only wish these had been available before I called Greece! (Then again, the internet wasn’t around, either.)

Communication Mistake: Being unaware of, or insensitive to, cultural or religious differences

One of the great advantages of virtual communication is that it allows companies to source talent from around the world. This also helps organizations meet the growing need for cultural diversification. However, cultural differences aren’t limited to people from other countries–every nation has its own internal diversity that we must respect and consider before reaching out to communicate with someone.

Therefore, it’s not just time zones we need to keep in mind—we also have to remember that not everyone thinks, believes, or lives the way we do.

For example, if you’re not Jewish but a coworker or client is, it’s important to understand that, no matter where they live, they likely won’t be available for work-related tasks from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday. That 24-hour period–their time–is the Sabbath, a sacred time for them.

It’s our responsibility to educate ourselves–not expect others to do it for us–about different cultures to ensure we respect our colleagues’ beliefs and traditions.

This principle applies to the holidays and holy days of everyone in our workplace. It’s our responsibility to educate ourselves–not expect others to do it for us–about different cultures to ensure we respect our colleagues’ beliefs and traditions. After all, we would expect the same courtesy from them.

Communication Mistake: Not considering others’ communication comfort zones

The mere suggestion of being in a video meeting used to make me cringe. I hated video chatting. I’m still not a huge fan of Zoom-ing or any platform that uses cameras. In fact, many women, as well as Black, Hispanic, and Asian Americans, share this sentiment, knowing they may be judged for their appearance or surroundings. Video meetings can also heighten the inequalities that often arise during company meetings, as Jo Yurcaba explains for The Muse:

“During in-person meetings, women and people of color are more likely to be interrupted, for example, and being on video doesn’t stop that.
Video meetings can also exacerbate the inequalities that exist in physical workplaces and even introduce new challenges.

“For example, you can’t read body language or facial expressions as easily, so it’s more difficult to tell if someone is uncomfortable or disagrees with you. In large video meetings, it can be extra hard to signal that you have something to say without interrupting someone, which could make it harder for women, people of color, LGBTQ folks, or introverts to be heard. During the pandemic, people are at home with their children and other family members, which can lead to other distractions or barriers to participating. And on top of all that, being on video calls is also more physically draining, which can make it even harder to feel like you have a chance to contribute.”

The Muse*

We shouldn’t assume that a communication method that feels comfortable for us will work just as well for someone else.

Of course, sometimes we don’t have a choice. When working remotely, for example, it’s important to practice and prepare to use any virtual communication method required. Each comes with its own pros and cons. When interacting with a client or colleague, we may need to accommodate their preferences. (I’m still working on my video communication issues!) If you’re a manager, try to consider your staff members’ comfort zones, not just what’s most efficient, when deciding on a communication method.

Communication Mistake: Being unprepared for a phone or video meeting

Whether your meeting is a one-on-one call, a conference call, or a video meeting with several participants, a single unprepared person can bring everything to a grinding halt. The dreaded, “Could you hold on a minute while I grab this or that?” will have eyes rolling at best. At worst, it derails the entire agenda.

Before every meeting, gather everything you’ll need in advance and get yourself organized. Double-check that your tech is working, relevant websites are open, files are accessible, and even that you have an extra (working!) pen within reach.

Showing up to a meeting prepared will also boost your confidence, helping you feel relaxed and focused on what others are saying and what needs to be accomplished. Your preparation will set the tone for others, allowing them to stay focused and making the meeting more productive.

Communication Mistake: Failing to prevent disruptions

Who can forget Professor Robert Kelly’s viral interview with BBC News about North Korea? The video wasn’t just a hilarious TV blooper—it resonated with millions of work-from-home parents who could relate all too well. (I certainly felt his pain, which is why my now-grown kids couldn’t wait to share it with me!)

Professor Robert Kelly being interviewed by BBC News is interrupted by his children.

Most of us who empathize with Dr. Kelly will never find ourselves on live television. Still, how many of us have tried to finish a business call with kids playing—or arguing!—in the next room? As parents, we know that even a closed door is no guarantee of peace.

When working from home with young children, leave nothing to chance. If possible, schedule calls for times when they’re out of the house or usually sound asleep. As Professor Kelly’s viral video showed, even a spouse–like Mrs. Kelly–watching them in another room is no guarantee of uninterrupted work!

Likewise, that pooch blissfully napping in a sunbeam under your office window is a risk you can’t ignore. The moment another dog passes by, your peaceful conversation is history. Plan ahead by keeping pets at a distance from where you’ll be taking the call. (And don’t forget to reward them with a treat when you’re done!)

Communication Mistake: Sending chain letters

No, no, I’m not talking about those old-fashioned chain letters that were all the rage back in the day. I mean an email that starts with one subject but keeps getting reused, even as the topic drifts. Somehow, it just seems easier to keep hitting Reply instead of starting a new email with an updated subject. Please, don’t do that!

For example, you send a customer an email about their account. In that same message, you politely ask about their vacation or try to upsell a product. Thirty replies later, you’re chatting about hockey, but the subject line still reads, “Important information regarding your account.”

Not only does this become confusing, but it also creates extra work for the reader who may need to refer back to something later. They’ll have to scroll through umpteen irrelevant messages just to find that one comment they’re looking for.

Every new topic needs its own email. If you want to chat about your client’s kids, use another email with a new subject. Yes, this creates more email; but, because they have different subjects your reader can decide when to read them. And you don’t lose your original purpose of contacting him or her, which was to ask about their account.

Communication Mistake: Responding too quickly to texts or email

Sometimes, firing off a clever retort to someone who’s annoyed us can feel pretty satisfying. Unfortunately, the thrill of hitting Send is usually short-lived, isn’t it? What’s not so short-lived is the evidence of our poor impulse control–evidence that sticks around as long as the recipient chooses to keep it.

However, you don’t need to be angry to send a message you’ll regret. That’s why it’s best to wait until you’re in a clear frame of mind before replying to anyone. Feeling irritated? Wait. Are your feelings hurt? Wait. Running on empty from lack of sleep? Wait. Trust me, you’ll thank yourself later. (Let’s just say I speak from experience!)

Communication Mistake: Failing to use good ol’ common sense

Some friends of mine went out one evening, but I couldn’t join them. Later, they sent a group message saying they missed me. I didn’t see it until the next morning, a little before 4 a.m. Feeling touched, I immediately fired off a group response to thank them.

Midway through a sip of my coffee, I froze. Did I just ping their phones at 4 a.m.? Yep, I sure did. Half asleep, I failed to use good ol’ common sense. I might have unintentionally woken three blissfully sleeping ladies. Now, imagine if that message had gone to a distributed team across several time zones–some would have received it in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn their time.

via GIPHY

One way to avoid this kind of mistake is by using scheduling tools for your work messages and emails. If you have a brilliant thought at 3 a.m. that you want your team to see once they’re at work, just write the message and schedule it to send later. It’s an easy way to share your ideas without accidentally disrupting anyone’s sleep.

To schedule text messages from an iPhone, check out this article for step-by-step instructions. For Android users, this article provides a helpful guide. Alternatively, you can use push options, like those available on iPhone. For email, many reminder apps allow you to draft your messages, save them, and receive a push notification at the scheduled time, so you can hit send exactly when you need to.

Higher up the technical evolutionary ladder, Google offers a great feature for scheduling emails. (I’m sure other email platforms do, too.) For Gmail users, CNet.com provides clear instructions on how to schedule your emails. If you’re an Outlook user, this article should help you get started.

Communication Mistake: Assuming readers know how you feel, or not knowing how you can be interpreted

Are you aware of how others interpret your tone in a text or email? What sounds perfectly fine to you might come across as passive-aggressive, abrupt, or indifferent to someone else. Without body language or vocal cues, even well-intended messages can be misread. Taking a moment to re-read your message before sending, or adding a friendly word or emoji, can make all the difference in how it’s received.

“Emotions are expressed and received mostly through nonverbal cues, which are largely missing from text-based communication.”

–Professors N. Sharon Hill and Kathryn M. Bartol

“People on the receiving end of written communication tend to interpret it more negatively than intended by the sender. Emotions are expressed and received mostly through nonverbal cues, which are largely missing from text-based communication,” write Professors N. Sharon Hill and Kathryn M. Bartol for MITSloan Management Review. [Emphasis mine]

That’s why it’s important to intentionally convey goodwill and warmth in written communication—especially since it’s not always appropriate to rely on emojis to soften harsh-sounding text.

An exercise I’ve found helpful for bringing more warmth to my written communication is to imagine I’m calling the person on the phone instead of writing to them. No matter how important my message is, I’d never jump straight to the point the moment they answered. At the very least, I’d ask how they’re doing. Wouldn’t you?

In business correspondence, women in particular often equate abruptness with professionalism, fearing they’ll be perceived as “wishy-washy” or “emotional.” Unfortunately, this approach can hurt communication. Why? Because, at its core, communication is about one thing: people. Soft skills are more than just niceties; they help open hearts and minds, making your reader more receptive by fostering a personal connection.

Wrapping it up

Virtual communication has come a long way over the past three decades. It’s no longer something we can treat as optional –many times, it’s our only practical way to connect.

Whether you’re asking a quick question or hosting a team meeting, keep these tips in mind to ensure your virtual communication is effective and well-received:

• Wait until you are in a quiet place before talking on the phone.
• Stop other activities while on the phone to stay fully engaged.
• Avoid using speakerphone whenever possible.
• Know everyone’s time zones before scheduling or making calls.
• Be aware of team members’ religions or cultures to show respect.
• Respect others’ comfort zones with different methods of communication.
• Come prepared for telephone or online meetings.
• Take steps to prevent interruptions during phone or video calls.
• Start a new email for each new topic.
• Double-check messages before sending, and wait until you’re in a clear frame of mind to reply.
• Use schedulers after hours for texts and emails to capture your thoughts without disrupting the recipient.
• Apply soft skills in written communication to foster goodwill and connection.

You don’t need to be a prolific writer or a charismatic speaker to excel at virtual communication. Being mindful of your surroundings, practicing restraint, showing sensitivity to others, and understanding how to use communication tools effectively will make you a pleasure to engage with on any platform.

Your turn: What virtual communication lessons have you learned?

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